一個我想不會累　一直往前
一個我動彈不得　傷心欲絕
我不確定幾個我住在心裡面
偶爾像敵人　偶爾像姐妹

一個我在網路上　朋友一堆
一個我在房間裡　獨自面對
灰色的音樂塞滿黑夜
High的想麻醉
好讓翻攪的胃安靜一點
忘了全世界

＊分裂前的熱淚
分裂後的冷眼
越愛誰　越防備
像隻脆弱的刺蝟
分裂中的心碎
分裂後的假面
不快樂不傷悲
情緒埋藏成了地雷
等待爆裂

一個我相信用心　會被感覺
一個我大喊真心　會被欺騙
開始的熱烈不停奉獻
後來剩決裂
謊言吞噬了心　帶來刺痛
撕裂的褪變

for a change
to wake up, face reality
to pack, seal, delete
to start real work at full steam
to look forward and not turn back
to say goodbye to the old me

a chat made me realise that my future career options are not limited to research or teaching
I can still go to investment/corporate if  I want
Endless possibilities

That's something hopeful

blessed with family
love them heaps

Thank you
I've gained a good experience
Hopefully I've learnt well

It's time to move on
気をつけて！

Hatred, this is a real strong feeling.
Somehow, I'm still incapable of developing it.
Is it a blessing or a curse?

If there's a God, I'm angry at Him.
For not giving me any signs all these years.
For manipulating my feelings.
For being so selfish.
For creating imperfect man.

He's supposed to love me.
So why?

But I'm angrier at myself.
He gave me freewill.
And I chose not to see the signs.
Blindly trusting the wrong things.
Stayed in my comfort zone and not questioning more, exploring more.
Things might have worked out differently.

God, if You are out there,
I have to say that You are one wicked creature.
Toying me, toying us.
I'm angry at You.
And I'm still trying to hate You.

Fuck